To give a beggar a pound coin is to invest in the hope that he won’t go and buy a can of beer with it, while to give him a fiver instead suggests you’ve had too much today already.

A sure sign of the advancement of an advanced society is the number of crimes you can be arrested for in the street.

Should a pervert be allowed to choose his perversions, he would choose normal ones.

In being perverted the pervert is naturally amoral, while his immorality is thus beyond his comprehension.

You’ll realize your rather sad limitations when you realize what you can’t do anymore.

You’ll find that people hold opinions about complete strangers, even ones they see on the bus at rush hour, even if they don’t deserve it; they’ll think to themselves: “I don’t much like the look of him, whoever he is.” At least that’s what I think, as I do it all the time.

There are two things a man needs to know if he wants to get ahead: he needs to know how to grin and bear it, and he needs to know how to stare at people from within the group.

Distorting a rival’s image in the eyes of someone else you wish to influence is only another diplomatic form of clarity.

Now why insult someone you like just for some half-arsed joke? Isn’t the world sad enough already without that sort of sad little input?

Once in a while you may ask yourself, “Now why did I let that happen?” and really there will often be no good answer.

One day, on a day possibly just like any other day, you could make a slight error in judgement, as it is something that people do well; it would be an error of omission, and you would just have to live with it—or possibly not, how should I know!

There’s got to be more to life than just living, but there’s nothing more to do with it than just live.

You’re one up on a dead man at least, as you’re still alive to feel. However, you still may not feel that way about it at the time.

You should always enjoy the feeling of what you’re doing with your life; if you’re not you’ll probably end up enjoying the bits in between.

Some people take pride in living up to challenges, and good for them, no matter how big their heads get in the process.

Occasionally you may find yourself wondering why nobody will help you out; and if you’re not careful you may still find yourself wondering that years later as well.

Once in a while you’ll meet people with reserve, they don’t want to be bothered with anything else and know with vivacious similitude that you don’t know precisely what they mean by it.

If you do nothing threatening, keep out of sight and keep to yourself always, then you’ll be completely overlooked. Which must be what you really wanted all along to do it in the first place, mustn’t it?