In the interests of politeness one long belly laugh is better than a quick insult in return for being laughed at, as anything more is probably just being antisocial.

Isn’t it fair to say of the perfect stranger before you, that you would gladly step over his dead body to advance your stride?

Many people don’t seem to know exactly what ebullient means, nor have the will power to look it up in a dictionary that they probably do not possess anyway, as they are afraid of being disappointed, or, at least, afraid of having an anticlimax.

Higher intelligence in the smarter primate: an excellent excuse for a brighter example of talking-monkey to say “fascinating!” at the sight of the stars before he dies.

Life is about endings and beginnings, but more often about endings than beginnings, more often than not.

Be wary of the sort of man who likes to wrap a soft cuddly teddy bear around his head at night, as he’s probably got a perfectly logical reason for doing so.

Be careful of the sort of man who only wears one glove in public places, although he may have a very good reason for it, for he may even be a bit of a golfer on the quiet.

Beware of those who turn their faces aside in closed response, for they probably have a dark secret to keep which really isn’t any of your concern anyway.

The craving for acceptance is one of the most powerful and basic drives of human nature, and to some people one worth dying for; and, if so, to some people also worth killing for as well.

If you should catch anybody just being nice to you knee the fellow in the balls, as he’s just got to learn.

The natural born partygoer it seems must ooze charm from every pore, hence oiling his path about the floor.

To compete effectively you have to have something to compete against; you can’t compete alone hidden away in your room, so something must have put you there.

A strong arm puts strength behind your opinions, from which position you will always be ready to propound one for the public good––if they know what’s good for them.

Intelligence in humans has obviously gone too far, but you won’t get far down the pub with that sort of attitude.

Now let us take great care that by the simple act of omission we do not promote the primary aims and intentions of some other person, above the primary aims and intentions of our own, simply by being too nice about it all in the clinches.