The road less travelled that is never ventured upon seems so attractive only to those who have stumbled and fallen headlong over their own choices.

Never assume the “dirty, insulting man” won’t kill you, as he knows it’s the first thing you should be doing to him.

A question without an answer is a puzzle, no matter how puzzling this may seem.

Always despise the one who has no kind words for you, but if you do decide to throw a metaphorical brick or two his way, if only in the form of massive missives, then always take cover among other like-minded individuals taking cover amidst the rubble.

This is true: On the day he dies a dying man is just as likely to shit all over those around him as much as himself, & then drop dead. The question then remains whether you want to be that kind of man on the day you die. The choice, as always, is in your own hands: wash them often, then spit.

After a lifetime’s experience in the matter, and upon much deep reflection, one might not only come to believe that everyone is an arsehole, but even to come to suspect that one is necessarily an arsehole as well, which is truly unconscionable, and partly inconsolable, if not completely unbelievable!

Take care, as much as you can, to whom you speak; he might be playing another tune altogether, & could even try to throttle you.

Of course, once you show some man some equality, you can both go and play with it, together…

Politeness is fine: it gives you what you want. But ask anyone for time and you’ll find out exactly what it’s worth to someone who has no (or little) time for you (if not quite to yourself). After all, if you want to play: go and play with your time.

Even an ignorant man – or even a foolish fool being foolish – can have an opinion, though, you know, of necessity it cannot be much of a “good one”.

We could all be murderers, and, in consequence, it cannot be something to be worried about too much.

Those who always act on their desires are cutting their reality to ribbons.

Betrayal, obviously, is more convenient than the truth, as the truth is always harder to dish out for free; while great liars, of course, hardly ever even try.

A social contradiction: A fair comment upon someone’s behaviour is always unfair upon the one being commented upon.

For all the things that might have been, we shall never know if they could have been.

Freedom is always, as always, the freedom to bite back – with a snarl!

A puzzlement: Why do those who have no need to lie, lie through their teeth? Even more puzzling: Why should it matter?

If a chap puts his head in the lion’s mouth he must feel a bit of a thrill through doing it, although all he may be overwhelmed by as a result would be bad breath.

Of course, one cannot possibly sanction genocide, but, nonetheless, on an individual basis there are a lot of people who still need killing.

The fact that someone has never been to university doesn’t make him an idiot; who knows, maybe he just wasn’t smart enough to get there.

They say human beings will do almost anything to avoid thinking, and then they frequently do.

Of course, calling another person a degenerate ape is totally justified, if only by objective observation, although he might not particularly agree with your particular point of view.

The unbelievable always seems impossible until it’s done, and then it’s often impossible to believe once it is.

What you do not want or desire, you can neither possess nor have: A true mystery both to the wealthy and poor alike.

Push and shove against the limits of being, and if you can’t do that push someone close to you.

In any modern, civilized society the police, de facto, should be defunct, or should be more funky, or at least should be funkier.

People will see you as you are, and not as you might have been…and if you had seen yourself as you could once have been, then you wouldn’t seem such a lazy twat as you now so obviously are.

Man is the archetypal monkey reaching out for a banana: and he’s done it once & he’ll do it again – forevermore!

Whoever said the working classes were “thick” didn’t understand them; however, they are intellectually challenged, which can be just as bad.

When people come to believe that you are “full of it”, unfortunately, they are probably right.

Of course, in the mating game, a young man has to be careful about trusting a woman, at least until she gives him what he wants. And even then he has to be careful, in case she turns round & bites his head off.

Be mindful of what you could turn yourself into, as, for whatever it is, it might not be a very nice thing to see.

Anything man does not understand he naturally makes fun of…which is at least an acceptable alternative to cold-blooded murder.

Religion is a lifebuoy in the stormy sea of confusion, & if you throw someone a lifebuoy in such a whether he’ll cling on to it for dear life.

Dying should be as easy as being strung up in a noose; any easier, and a person won’t know what he’s living for.

Arsehole: a person out of place in his element doing his own thing (usually in a public place) regardless of the consequences.

It’s sometimes easy to miss the obvious since it’s not what is being looked for. But once perceived becomes much more obvious than that.

For excellence, there is nothing better than its pursuit. But better hope never to catch up with it, for then there is nowhere else to go.

To be accepted by academia you’ve got to put in enough years of hard work to produce work so boring it would freeze the nuts off a randy old goat in the high Karakorum.

A “man of means” shouldn’t bandy words with someone who has nothing to lose, as he’ll just pick up the display plinth the fellow has been posing on and hit him with it.

Most problems can be solved just by thinking about it…and the ones that can’t never will.

People measure each other’s actions by their own degree of “selfishness”, which could put those who don’t do so too well at a distinct disadvantage.

Constantly banging your head against a wall trying to find a solution to a problem suggests that the solution may entail stopping constantly banging your head against a wall trying to find a solution.

In my lighter moments I sometimes feel people pass a secret key between one another, secretly, in secret. And what does this secret key unlock? God knows – it’s a secret.

After death, so we are told, comes an afterlife, but what comes after that (to fill the gaping void created by existence), nobody knows.

Most of the insurmountable problems man faces in life are caused by his sheer inability to stop thinking so much about nothing in particular.

In this life, those who have done you some harm you do not have to esteem. This is only just, although it may not be very nice.

The greatest quest in life is the quest for wisdom; although, he would be a fool who thinks he found it.

Urbane. A word I once thought meant one thing, more to do with urbanity but, rather, mean another, more to do with pumping-up one’s amour-propre.

When you fist meet a stranger, firstly, assume he or she wants nothing to do with you, and then, secondly, that if he or she does then you must be useful for something. In any case, extreme caution is advised.

Of course, among men insults over manliness are mandatory, but a broken bottle stops all argument, and especially if you get one in the face.

If a joker wishes to convey nonsense, then, as Thoreau suggests, it must be illogical, as if it isn’t illogical it’s clearly not nonsense.

There can be nothing better to begin a debate with than a true observation of an object of discourse, such as this one for instance.

Knowing they can go barmy over diddlysquat is probably the thing that keeps most people on the straight & narrow; others, it just unhinges.

Everybody’s looking for a teacher, but nobody wants to teach. The ignorant fool!

The animosity directed towards a lazy man from the industrious is like a dart is to a dartboard: pointed and targeted.

One good reason for learning philosophy is to give us a good joke at which to laugh at, or else life would be much too serious to be taken seriously.

The problem with seeing reality as it is, is that, even for the wisest among us, it’s always such a relative experience for everybody.

A private conversation to which you are a witness to suggests that the person talking doesn’t care if you overhear him, and so would probably welcome your input if it were offered.

You can be told all the secrets of the world, but how gullible do you wish to be?

Sometimes, you cannot see what is serious for lack of knowing what to do about it.

Some people are together for one reason, others for another, but what is quite clear is that they’re all together for their own reasons.

It’s an astounding fact probably least known to all those who it best applies to: Those who reject the rejected will only attract more rejects.

Old friends are something which, once you lose them, you never see again.

It is not an infrequent event to see a complete fool in the world, and some of them, if nothing else, can also be very well educated.

A polite joke is a contradiction in terms, or, at least, to its “object” it is, to say nothing of its subject!

Knowledge to the fool opens doors for him; which, basically, is why to him all doors are shut tight.

One constant about being “out on a limb” is that it often seems more appropriate to “jump for it” rather than worm yourself back to safety.

It’s an old conundrum, and often quite amusing: If you need any help in this life, then they’ll hand you “the monkey’s paw”.

Advice from morons is especially pernicious, and educated morons’ especially so. And as for the specialist’s, well, moronic isn’t the correct word for it.

What is the first thing normal people will do about a “madman”? They reject him out of hand, and then harbour an obscene opinion over him for good measure.

In the end a man inevitably has to live with the cards he has dealt himself on the table of life. But, still, he sure doesn’t have to like it.

When you ask a person to do some work you must pay him for it (or at least promise to pay him for it) but that doesn’t mean you must leave a tip.

How often laziness could be swiftly overcome if we were not so intent on doing what we find most comfortable.

A man can get so used to failure that he eventually sits down and does nothing… Then it can be said that he has truly reached his destination.

Pinch: To ingratiate oneself at the expense of another fellow, or, rather (and although one might not know it) to do so at one’s own.

One thing is certain of failure: the deeper the failure entrenches himself in its mire the less appealing he looks to others who have avoided it.

What is the first prerequisite for being a romantic? Well, in all probability, the capacity to die young while eating one’s words for lunch.

The only problem with a good witch-hunt is that not everybody who’s interested in natural justice can get involved in it.

With all this sanctimonious codswallop these evangelists come up with it’s a wonder they don’t go and join the venerable society of sanctimonious bull shiners, or is that an oxymoron of some kind?

Balancing sanity on a pinhead is something best left for philosophers to ponder over, if, indeed they have the social skills to do it.

One should try not to irritate those in authority too much but not at the cost of being enslaved to it, it would be too much like a marriage.

It’s remarkable how sweet and juicy a good bit of well-timed betrayal feels, especially when it’s totally uncalled for. As an act of personal growth, it can be thoroughly recommended to all normally minded persons.

Greed is an essential ingredient for ambition; or, at least, it whets the appetite for it.

“Friends” have their own agendas. Which roughly means, if you want to be a friend, you should have one too.

Of course, where people are concerned, Niccolò Machiavelli said it all; however, not all that many people know what he was on about.

Some men can just talk and talk and talk, and still say nothing, and during social intercourse many frequently do as a matter of policy.

Sometimes one finds that it is too late to learn something…and that it was a long time coming.

Play is something done in all seriousness only if you already know that those whom you play with know this already, and play the game.

It is not necessary to thank anybody for nothing it’s when he wants to take it back without payment that you have to complain to someone.

There is a general consensus among intellectuals that their ignorance is better than a fool’s knowledge. Happily, though, they can never prove it.

One should be wary of those who come to you at a bad time and make it worse; which is a good reason to ignore most people.

One should be careful of those who run along the street; it is not that they are in a hurry, which is excusable, but that they have nothing better to do than to run to where they are going, and so are already too late to arrive in a more appropriate manner.

It is not always necessary to know where you are, exactly, but it is probably vital to know you’re on the same planet as everybody else, if not on the same plane of existence.

It is a truth that generally remains unrecognised by those who do not have it that advantage stays with those who work for it; anybody else can generally go and do the washing up.

As those in the know know they do not know, what then do those who do not know know, nothing? But, at least, they would know this.

I would not say that great teachers are not good at teaching what they know, only that they definitely do not like their teachings being rejected by those who don’t.

Failure is that personal attribute which enables complete strangers to comment upon the failures and short fallings endemic in the neglect or omission of expected or required action within a failure’s entirely wasted life.

One of life’s greatest fallacies is that when people see a man drowning they’re likely to throw him a lifebelt. They’re more likely to throw him an anchor.

The world wouldn’t be a fair place to live without being able to blame someone or other for one’s troubles, so one would probably deserve all the blame one gets.

Pay no mind to what another man thinks of you, as he has never walked in your shoes and if he hadn’t any of his own he would probably pinch yours as well into the bargain.

As the bonds that bind us tend to grow tighter the more we struggle against them, so why struggle against them, why not go with the flow instead?

What should be watched for is not what men do, but why they do it; and, if they need emulating, well, they’re probably dodgy anyway.

Nobody should want to hang about with somebody who has no interest in what he does or how he reacts, and vice versa also, even though they’re clearly well-suited to one another.

For every person who ever wanted something more, there is another person who went out and got it. This may not be true, but there is only one way to prove it.

Consider your own attitude towards the mentally ill or psychologically deformed, and that is the attitude most of society would have towards you if you became so, which, after all, really isn’t very nice but is probably quite justified.

Men should be prepared to hang their principles from the flagpoles (to blow in the wind), it’s the only way to be certain that they don’t cause too much of a flap.

If he likes to do it anybody who disagrees with people has a head start in a friendly conversation.

It’s impossible to say something foolish or inane without lacking the intelligence to fully understand its true meaning, or at least not until after it’s been said.

Someone who is being criticised generally gets exactly what he deserves: free advice. Attack couched as criticism, though, is the abomination of abominations, but it can still prove quite entertaining.

Arrogance is an indication that one doesn’t know what one is doing; which in turn is a kind of behaviour that is usually closely followed by one’s comeuppance.

Sometimes you’ve got to know when to punch someone in the jaw; and if you’re going to do that then you had better know how to punch someone in the jaw properly: for good and all.

For every freedom earned there’s a smashed hope that goes along with it, just to provide supporting evidence for a general lack of happiness in the world.

Fair weather friends: acquaintances who have got too close to the truth and are blow away by it.

What can we say of the “artiste” who decides, without further adieu, to “bow out” prematurely Why, we haven’t even got the chance to unceremoniously kick him off the stage for the bald faced cheek of actually turning up in the first place!

Friendships: don’t be fooled by them into doing something foolish about them.

Sometimes what we seek can never be found, but then, conversely, what we’ve found can never be sought, and there must be something instructive in that.

The more good advice you have to remember to get by with the more good advice you tend to forget, until, eventually, the only good advice you need to remember is the good advice you have neglected to discard but cannot forget.

Why accept our limitations? We can have so much more fun believing we can overcome them.

Much immediately applicable social theory can be encapsulated in a very small mind, but it certainly doesn’t always stay there.

Our work as men, so some say, is to grow as human beings, although it seems that most men, after a good while, can only manage to grow sideways.

Whether or not a young man has an idea in his head or not is secondary to whether he knows his place or not, as if he doesn’t then any idea that he has got is bound to be a bad one.

Laziness is simply the inability of a particular individual to do what he should be doing, for himself, what anybody else thinks he should be doing is beside the point (although that opinion can in itself become very pointed).

A teacher is generally someone who knows a lot about his own subject; consequently, he sells only what he owns. However, he does not often tell you what he does not sell, and rarely what he does.

Every life has a story to it, and like all stories every life must end with a full stop. Even if its author is a no account no talent hack with an ego to match.

What characterizes a successful person is tenacity, without it he is somebody else less lucky (although “luck”, in doing what he is successful at, has nothing whatsoever to do with his success).

Does humanity need saving? Possibly only from itself. Which is probably rather a contradiction in terms, and so the question posed must necessarily have been a silly one.

As they say, “It’s better to die on one’s feet than to live on one’s knees.” The trick, then, is in the avoidance of stumbling.

Do not too quickly condemn the man who does nothing all too well, as, after all, he has had much help in doing it, and help from people much like you too.

What more encourages us to waste our time other than there is more of it to waste if we don’t?

In the scales where the ordinary is measured everyday, the exotic is just another kind of strange fruit in the market place.

It is a general truth commonly accepted amongst the ignorant that even an ignoramus could be seen as being clever sometimes, but not often.

Logic can lead you a merry dance, until you finally realize that you cannot fly gracefully out of your bedroom window wearing a fully functional birdman suit, and not also expect to fly gracefully up the garden path as well.

There’s nothing like getting a birthday card one month before it’s one’s birthday, which naturally tops not getting one at all.

A bore is someone who knows enough about people to hold a conversation, but not why to have it with anybody but himself.

Power commands respect, but can only demand the going price for it.

Life is way too short to be taken with a pinch of salt. Eternity, though, is far too long not to be taken any other way.

The stranger in society is usually asked to “go away”, which is probably why there are so many strange people travelling about the world.

Being just “a little too clever” is never really much good, especially when there’s no real money in it.

Only the most uncouth of individuals don’t quickly step away from each other when they want to, even when it is all one-sided.

One-fifth of people are permanently dead-set against everything, all the time; the remainder could go either way, depending on the state of the whether.

People, being points of view, in essence tend to go off in tangents all over the place, but, still, keep on pointing anyway.

That wealth which is not valued cannot be held, and sometimes not even fondled.

A useful idea cannot be used without earning the right to use it first, or at least nothing good can be made out of it.

It’s never too late for someone who’s young enough for it to make a new start, but that should never prevent anyone from pursuing an old one.

It is probably unacceptable to say that pacifists should be hung from the lampposts, but it is perhaps slightly more acceptable for pacifists to say that those who say so should be strung up there instead.

Dedicated seekers of worldly-wisdom should understand one thing: the juiciest morsels are all found under rocks.

Fortunately, failure teaches you who your friends are and where your enemies dwell. Unfortunately, if it doesn’t teach you any better than to lean this then it’s not worth the effort.

Almost all effective ways of avoiding making a fool of oneself begins, initially, by asking oneself why one does it.

It is in the nature of work that “it must be done”, or else, in being curious about why not, people will ask you why.

Sometimes it is necessary to find something to fight for, and such thoughts of “death or glory” should always start with oneself.

Within the system the system is there to be used, and it is also there to be maintained in use. This is good news for the system and the people who use the system, because if it were not maintained in use then it wouldn’t work.

We should not wish to inflict our more intimate failures upon other people if we can help it; after all, they have their own to worry about.

It is emotionally easing, knowing that nobody gives a damn what you do so long as you do it elsewhere, to say nothing of being spiritually enlightening.

There is an old phrase, “Beware of what you wish for, you might get it.” This means nothing to those who don’t understand it, but everything to those who do.

It’s unusual to stand upon the principle of un-principality, but if one stands on one leg and juggles with one’s words at the same time, then perhaps it’s not so odd after all.

Suicide is not driven by a lack of faith in the future; it is driven by the conviction that the future is unalterable.

There is generally “not much to mind” in the “civilized” beliefs of another person, and as much as one’s own, although, generally, this doesn’t make his beliefs any more true either.

It is not the optimist that attempts to jump a chasm in a single bound, it is the pessimist who has been pushed too far.

The work ethic has one redeeming moral quality: the constantly selfish desire to improve one’s position.

When all has been said and done, and the truth of the matter has been settled for good and all, remember: after all, nobody’s ever that right, all the time; and even if this were not so, and after all that, death shuts all open books, flat, and without comment, no matter what’s written in them.

Over-reaction will always be a subject for fair comment to those people who can remain in control of themselves without overreacting.

Blessed are those who have their work, for they shall always have more to do.

There is no substitute for hard work, and the only remedy for that is to get someone else to do it for you.

The dumber you are, the more hard work you can be asked to do.

Saying something quite profound can still prove to be rather dull to the profoundly uninterested.

A failure is on his own: nobody either wishes to lead him or follow him, anywhere, anyhow, or anyway. This is the spur of industry.

Those who tend to use oblique praise in their insinuations should at least try to be more direct about it.

What can we do about those who clearly dislike us? Well, the best thing to do is to clearly recognize what they look like, long before they get anywhere near us.

Even the nicest people can be quite unpleasant at times; perhaps that’s because they often need to be, but more often it’s usually just because they can.

Chucking your whole kit and caboodle in with luck when you don’t need to can be a very risky thing to do in the luck of the draw, so why do it? Take a chance on permanence instead.

A fellow can sit down and do nothing for a very long time, and, it should be noted, even a man can do this when he can find nothing better to do with himself other than contemplate the infinite that’s been encapsulated in a nutshell, for effect.

Push a man out of kilter and he’ll run, not walk to the edge of the cliff; but making him jump even then needs a good push to go with it or else he just won’t budge.

People do like to see other people working, and the more the merrier (and all at once or in small groups of them), if only for the exercise it gives them in doing so.

The observative is much more pernicious than the contemplative, although the contemplative also has its moments.

Reserving judgement is not the same as making no judgement, but in effect it’s probably just as obtuse.

It is as easy to step off the planet as it is to step onto it. But no one should be wailing as he or she goes, as that is probably a marked overreaction to the inevitable.

A man will set a limit on the wasting of his time and won’t like to waste a minute of it, but, if he is wise about it, he will put some time aside to do it anyway.

Selfishness: the fully self-propelled direction to a man’s life.

One’s own efforts are all that one owns, and sometimes that’s all one has left.

Emotions may be a guide to one’s actions but, in all sense (and even with common sense), they cannot possibly be allowed to govern them.

Falling over your own bootstraps wouldn’t happen so often if you remembered to do them up more often, but nonetheless it is always going to be a loosing battle.

It is a curious thing… to find how many things one can forget while trying to remember something important.

Being second-rate is almost as good as being first-rate… as long as no one cottons-on to the fact that there’s a distinct difference of emphasis there.

Sometimes, one can reject overtures of friendship purely on grounds of good taste… although that probably doesn’t say much about the purity of friendship.

The uses of friendship should not be demarcated by the everyday, but by the extraordinary, thereby exhibiting its true worth, and thus also any accompanying lack of propriety.

There is no friendship without qualification, but it is the qualifications that break it.

If it is our desires which lead us up the garden path, but it is our actions that set them in stone.

The difference between a whore and a philosopher is that one does what he or she does solely for the money involved, while the other one does it purely for pleasure.

Having an inkling of what to do next is not the quite same as thinking of making a decision; it’s more insidious than that, although it’s still quite near it.

Strength is the ability to do what is necessary at the right time in the right place, and, if that is not quite possible, to at least try to do the right thing before it is too late.

Indifference is not a crime, but, on purely humanitarian grounds, it definitely should be classed as one.

He who baulks at the challenge he is presented with, within reason, then often finds that he has nothing else better to do anyway.

Once one wishes to divest oneself of someone’s unwelcome company, his help in this regard would be the only thing welcome in his presence.

Those who expect to thrive on the milk of human kindness must also expect not to starve because of it. They must have much in common with optimists.

Honour is for the higher man, but that’s not to say he should be allowed to rub your nose in it in the scrum.

It is not necessary to act honourably at all times, it is just necessary not to get caught not acting like it.

There is no need to twist the knife in every time an occasion calls for it, although there is always a need to be prepared to do it at any time, as occasion permits.

People don’t deserve to get what they don’t want, but then deserve has nothing to do with it.

The step down from the mundanely magnificent to the nonchalantly sublime is a surprisingly short one.

Expecting the unexpected doesn’t excuse a having vague parabolic excuse for missing the point.

In permanence is also a little impermanence, and, sometimes, quite a lot.

Reject your ties if you wish to if they are the ties that bind you, but do not expect to be treated kindly for it.

He who lacks the freedom to do as he likes, at all times, certainly likes to impose upon somebody else’s freedoms when he can.

Beware of those who despise “us” without “much good reason”, for, much more than this, “they” themselves are, more or less, despicable for it.

There can be little objection to the beliefs of “true believers”, provided that they do not seek to impose those beliefs (or its effects) on others of a different persuasion, and yet most still love to do it, all the time.

Even to the laziest of men the indifference of others to their plight is a tonic that is unrivalled in its efficacy, that is, if he hasn’t already died of atrophy.

Men look for equality with other men, and if they don’t find it they’re rather put off by it.

First off, weakness is poor positioning; secondly, it is a lack of appropriate action.

In a mud-slinging contest one accusation is as good as any other, particularly where it is returned in good order.

Most mental strength lies in not thinking of what can actually be thought of, and then ignoring it.

Know the world for what it is as well as it knows you: The world is not a cradle, a nursery, or a playground: it is a testing ground for those who can survive its testing conditions.

Storytellers like very much to tell us “the story of life” in a condensed form; but this is not life, this is just another point of view on living a life, as life “is another story”.

Humour brings us together and divides us; anything else confuses us too much.

Too much choice is constrictive, which is not to say too little choice is constructive.

When echoes of reality begin to echo in your ears, you probably need a reality check.

One day the copyists will lead the world from behind, but not this day.

Our memories are made from those things we cannot possibly forget, but perhaps should try.

Humanity: trivial beings with a very short shelf life.

Oddness is in us, and especially round the edges of our beings.

Rejection has something of a direction in it: to divest the rejected rejecter of a nuisance to himself.

Knowing the malicious nature of some others (some of whom may even dislike you “on principle”) should not change your own, as you should already be prepared for that.

We are all faulty, so we don’t have to worry about that sort of thing too much anyway.

What is weird cannot be tolerated in human society, but at least it can be observed as a form of “mass observation”.

The place where you live your life governs your perceptions: there is always room for manoeuvre there.

Perhaps the saddest thing you can say about anybody is that he is good at what he does… but only perhaps.

We look down our noses upon those who look down on us, probably because we can never fully conform to their exacting standards of behaviour when it regards our own.

Those who we do not wish to take with us we tend to leave behind.

A scholar is someone who does what he can with the information at hand. An ignoramus, however, doesn’t even know what the word scholar means, let alone ignoramus (although he might always suspect).

In the main, dislike rules the world, and about that not much can be said.

You compete to live, and you work to compete. If you don’t do either, inevitably, you’re half-dead already.

Questions beg answers which need answering with more questions, but who says so?

The desire to be with people should always be tempered with the knowledge of what they are.

Only the cock-eyed can look at the world askance and get a clearer image back than was there to be seen in the first place.

What happens to all the mystery when all the mystery has gone?

Answers aren’t always all that important, just so long as you have all the right questions.

Some places are places to do things; other places are places where nothing can be done.

You cannot “start again” if you haven’t started in the first place.

The secret is: nobody tells you the secret; that, you have to find out for yourself.

People don’t like it when you look through them; they expect you to see something there.

Even a complete moron never accepts that he is a moron, no matter how many people neglect to inform him of it.

There is no place in this world for a stupid man: he is going to have to make room, chiefly by being annoying to others in his way.

Know the world for what it is and as well as it knows you: The world is not a cradle, a nursery, or a playground; it is a testing ground for those who can survive its testing conditions.

One of the most annoying things about social observers is that occasionally they can actually be right.

Never expect altruism from anybody, let it surprise you instead.

We are all strange in some way or other, and strangeness itself being part of the unacceptable strangeness of being.

It is preferable as you go along to make up your own wisdom from the dry bones of other’s great wisdom, but never to slavishly follow the dusty old ideas of your predecessors.

Of course you can admire some people for what they are, but you cannot possibly do so for very long.

The essential quality of the unexpected is change, and change needs adapting to or it is overwhelming.

Scratch backs, for whomsoever scratches backs gets his back scratched back.

A good insult is worth killing over, so one had better not do either.

Even the wisest of men cannot see how stupid he appears without a mirror to reflect what he does.

Madness at play puts on a happy face and goes to play tag with the townsfolk.

We can all have differences of opinion, just so long as they don’t differ too much from everyone else’s.

We are all one, together, but some of us are in two minds about it.

Politeness is a boon…and especially in such an impolite society.

The obligation to give back bears with it a benefit that is never grasped by those who cannot give at all.

Mistakes are made to be learned from, but that is not to say you have to make mistakes so you can learn from them.

Without commenting on something, we are reduced to commenting on anything.

Always check out the experts: they know too much to know it all already.

You can’t buy genius, although at the right price it is usually possible to rent it.

With ordinary people, sometimes it is better to be ordinary.

Those who have no time to bother anyone else probably have no time to be bothered with it anyway.

Sometimes, the time to “get up and walk” for some people has long since passed them by, probably because they’ve become much too familiar with “just sitting around and doing nothing”.

An ignorant man can generally be left ignorant, unless he is put in charge of something important, in which case he should be congratulated for it.

One does not “survive beyond death”. Does a crinkle crisp survive being eaten by a living god? No. It is the same with people.

Death, a private affair arranged between two parties, oneself and a silent scream.

Those who could never bring themselves to laugh at themselves should at least try to give it a go, if only that it’s so much an appropriate a thing to do.

You work best at what you do best, so why work so hard at anything else?

Some people are not happy at all but like it like that. This one simple fact also creates much happiness in the world.

Waiting patiently for something to do is also a way of creating something to do, although it isn’t as creative as doing something more creative.

People will say what they mean when they mean to attack you; while, sometimes, when an earlier attack has already proved successful, will say nothing instead.

Non-judgemental people have taken that discerning, life-affirming emotional step of judging everybody they meet long ago. But they never seem to admit it.

We betray out friends most easily with whatever opinion of their ignorant opinions which we do not immediately share with them.

Not saying, “thank you,” gives you the option of being unduly crass without a moment’s hesitation, but how practical that is is open to question.

To commit to something is the only way of gaining anything. But what then happens to those who do nothing of the sort?

The great maxim of progress: With knowledge—ignorance!

Not all men think alike, but it’s a pretty close run thing.

We move on from the past, although all we have is the future to look forward to.

There is nothing “so immensely sad” to the eyes of a dead man.

We watch the failures failing…they might do something interesting.

Sometimes, you can wake up in the morning and blame the world for nothing whatsoever. Which is not good, because there’s so much you can blame the world for with good reason instead.

You lose your usefulness to friends mostly with the changing of the weather.

Be careful of what you say, you might have to wear it.

Pride is for the wise to keep close, but is the domain of fools.

Always smile at the ones you don’t have much time or use for.

Never give advice to someone who’s lost the plot, as he’s already far ahead of you.

Having something to gnaw at gives us all the energy we need to get by with.

Established institutions need to be poked fun at, or else they simply forget to wobble in the breeze.

What is bitterness other than a lost flower of youth?

Ignorance is a deceitful liar, until it kicks you in the teeth and laughs in your face, then it’s quite revealing.

If you don’t know what you need to know already, you probably don’t know anything much either.

You may not always know what someone who dislikes you really thinks of you, but I can tell you right now that it probably isn’t very flattering.

The joy of being a terrible person is in that you cannot get any better than that, and that is hugely encouraging.

You can walk away from responsibility, but you certainly can’t walk back.

The lazy man is universally despised, but he will never fully understand why.

Disappointment is such a reassuring thing to us all, or else we would not know where we stand on the matter.

To achieve the best is best of the best, after all, they’ve got nothing better to do.

Sometimes, even making the right decision gets you nowhere you would want to go.

Sometimes, the time to “get up and walk” for some people has long since passed them by.

The world makes us complete, or it squashes us flat, like a pancake.

The refined reader: something with a point at both ends and no lead in the middle.

It is alright to be cynical about life, so long as you don’t take it all too seriously.

If you’re not in with the crowd, you’re out to lunch.

It’s hard to get someone down if he just won’t stop struggling.

Even those who hate you can be of use to you: to give you a clearer vision of yourself.

If you’ve really got to think of what you’re doing while you’re doing it, try doing that then.

Since when does the same mean better, and thus more desirable? Some people have no appreciation of their own irrelevance.

Just because you can think doesn’t make you “a thinker”.

Tearing down modern art is just as artistic as putting it back up again.

The reward for getting it right in the right place at the right time is splendid.

Only the gullible believe they deserve more praise for being what they are.

Easily the best lie is sweet honey on the tongue, but someone always has to pay for it eventually.

The truth should never be given out for free, it costs too much to replace.

Always check for errors in your understanding, then keep your mouth shut.

Don’t be a hero; the plot of land he occupies is already taken.

One should only step on those too weak to know that they could be strong enough to resist.

If you want to get caught at it, tell the truth to everybody.

Where dirty tricks are in order, sly jokes always do nicely.

Always plan for the unexpected by being cautious with what is expected.